“When is the Raingasm Video going to be released?”
“Are you working on the Raingasm video?”
Bailey Knox’s “Raingasm” gallery was released in the spring of 2014, and fans blew up our Twitter feeds with requests for the video companion.  The photos were very attractive, so why wasn’t the video uploaded to Bailey’s site?  That’s a very good question, with a long, terrifying answer.  More than a year and a half after the shoot, the path of this unreleased video is one of suffering and destruction.  Raingasm needed an exorcism more than it needed editing.
I mean, Bailey doesn't look NOT possessed.
I mean, Bailey doesn’t look NOT possessed.
I was home sick with strep throat on the day of the shoot, so I didn’t see the Raingasm in person.  But the text messages I got during the shoot sounded like everyone there would have traded places with me if they could.  “This is a really tough shoot,”  Phad texted me midway through, along with this pic:
Uh oh. Bailey is not having a good time...
Bailey’s “fuck this shoot” face.
Phad was there assisting the guest photographer Stephanie, and that “tough shoot” text turned out to be an understatement.  I didn’t know what they were shooting, but I did know they’d rented a house for the day, and they were running into trouble with Stephanie’s ideas.  I asked for the images to be sent over so I could start editing immediately.
As I opened the folder, my heart went out to Bailey as a model.  Cold water sprayed from a garden hose, restraints, ripped fishnets and a vibrating sex toy harness, all shot outside in early March – were they nuts???  Flipping through the pictures was like watching a progressive slideshow of a model being tortured.  By the end of the gallery, Bailey was covered in mosquito bites, and looked like she was battling hypothermia.  It looked more like the content you’d see on a water torture bondage website than any of the regular updates on
Maybe definitely not the fun kind of shoot.
Maybe definitely not the fun kind of shoot.  Bailey’s bugbites looked like nipples.
“The file sizes are huge, you’ll need an external drive just to take the footage home with you,” Phad sighed, still sounding exhausted. “She shot for eight hours out there, it’ll take you days just to sort the footage out,” he warned.  All that for one video, I wondered?  Stephanie was apparently new at directing video, so none of the shots had progressed quickly, and all of the takes were long.
As instructed, I left an external drive with Phad to copy the video files for me.  But as time passed, I started to get the hint that maybe I didn’t want these files.  Every time I’d check up on that drive, Phad would hem and haw about giving it back.  “Why don’t you let me edit this, it’s an evil mess,” he’d say.  “There’s so much raw video because of that GoPro on my head.  Playing it back will be like living through a bad day in real time.”  So the seasons marched on, and much like Sauron’s One Ring, the Raingasm quietly grew in power.
One Bailey video to rule them all.
One Bailey video to rule them all.


By November 2015, the sting of the Raingasm shoot had faded, and so had Phad’s insistence on editing it for me.  After an unrelated shoot, he finally sent me home with all the raw video.  While Phad may not have cared about protecting me from the video anymore, that didn’t mean Bailey’s fans were any less interested.  “Raingasm Video” had maintained its status as one of the most widely discussed videos for her site, despite the fact that it didn’t exist yet!
I decided to tackle Raingasm myself.  The Blue Monster, my loving nickname for my new computer, was built to be lighting fast and chew through HD video.
Malloy at the computer.
Bring it.
But as I imported the source files to the video software, I noticed a drop in speed.  My super computer was now crawling along like a dusty old laptop opening iTunes.  I brushed it off at first, assuming the drag was caused by the heavy load of 86 individual files…
Oh hell...
Oh hell…
Then it happened.  Everything froze, alarms went off, and my screen flashed blue.  A startup repair began. “Oh this cannot be good” I thought. “Don’t panic, turn off the computer, restart. It’ll be fine.” It was not fine. My water cooling system had completely failed, and the guts of the computer were registering 117 degrees.  Raingasm had almost cooked my motherboard like a roast chicken.
On the left, my overheating computer, on the right, all the raw videos files.
On the left, my overheating computer, on the right, all the raw video files.
I spent the next two days wiping everything off the machine so it could be sent for away for service. Mailing away a computer for repairs is never a good feeling, and when it’s your LIVELIHOOD, and filled with porn, it’s absolutely terrifying.  I wanted Blue Monster’s hard drives to be spotless, so I bundled myself up in layers, turned the AC on in the house in the dead of winter, and went through a marathon session of copying work files and deleting them from my hard drive.  In the end, it was over 500 gigs of content, both old and new, that I moved to external storage.
Despite the chilly house, I still had to intermittently turn the computer off when the temperature pushed over 95 degrees.  And the overheating got progressively worse.  What started as a problem that would happen every few hours now began happening every 30 minutes or so.
While doing this file transfer and cleaning Blue Monster, I was also cleaning off Ole Bess, my 6 year-old computer that Phad gave me the first day I started working for Epic Panda Studios.  If Blue Monster was headed off to the shop, Ole Bess would have to become my main machine again, and that would require a serious tune up.  With only 2Gb of RAM and an old video card, HD editing was now out of the question.  So after shipping off my new Blue Baby, (with $100 postage fee – ouch!) I knew I’d spend the coming days working exclusively on photosets.  Not only would I have to forget about Raingasm the video, I’d have to forget about every other video I would normally edit.  On all the sites I manage, the stream of new videos dried up to nothing.
Blue Monster arrived back home working better than ever before, and I was overjoyed!  At this point, fans and other webmasters had picked up on the “curse” component attached to the Raingasm video, and were asking when site updates would be back to normal.
I wondered, would my cooling system have failed anyway?  Was this all just a coincidence?  I jumped into the work of familiarizing myself with the Raingasm footage.  Phad was right, it was a colossal amount of video to review, made worse by the fact that I wasn’t there when it was shot, and I didn’t have a storyboard, so I didn’t know what to look for.  I spent several days just watching and rewatching the clips, making timestamp notes and forming an idea of how to put it together in cohesive way.  Cutting up video is always a tedious process anyway, where you end up isolating favorite moments that may vary from just 2 second clips, to several minutes of uninterrupted good stuff.  But watching Raingasm for the first time left me puzzling over things like, “Why do I hear other people talking?”  “Why are there so many dogs barking?  Did they shoot this next to a dog park?”  Even though poor Bailey looked like she was freezing, I couldn’t help but think: damn this video is sexy.
This video edit is happening. This is real life.
Raingasm video edit is finally happening. This is real life.
As Raingasm started forming into an actual video, I began teasing little screencaps to Bailey’s fans.  At that point, I was reasonably sure that Raingasm would be done in a few days, and so I wanted everyone to know I was currently working hard on it, and the release was near.  What would be the harm in that?
Raingasm is coming!
One of many “Proof of Life” photos I shared.
A little voice in the back of my mind told me this video wasn’t finished screwing with our lives.
After putting the finishing touches on it, I hit “play” at the closing sequence to check my work.  Suddenly the cursor froze in place.  The computer was NOT RESPONDING.
“NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!”  I checked the temperature gauge!  Hmmm totally fine.  I gave it a minute for any processes to catch up, and paced the room.
I wiggled the mouse again, but it still didn’t respond.  I gave it two more minutes… argggg!  Blue Screen!  Flashing Error Message!  Failed restart!
These are my actual cellphone pics taken during moments of panic and despair.
These are my actual cellphone pics taken during the moments of my panic and despair.
Finally I managed to restart the computer and load Windows again.  Then I re-opened the Raingasm project file.  Or should I say, attempted to…
That's not good.
That’s not good.
I checked the autosave back-up files.  One nice thing about Adobe Premiere is that it automatically saves your work for you, even if you are a dope and forget to save it yourself.  So I was probably okay.
But no.  Nothing for the past hour two hours had been saved.  None of the most recent autosave files would open!
Was this video footage actually a malevolent force?  At this point it didn’t matter, I could see the finish line.  I caffeinated myself, pushed ahead, and redid all the lost hours work using an older version of the project file..
"Caffeinated" myself.
“Caffeinated” myself.
After several more days of editing and countless draft renders, the video was finally done!  I sent it off to Phad for a final check and then it was ready to go live.
…And that’s when a technical hiccup locked all her members out her site.  Several days of interrupted service became several weeks of site repair.   A simple service outrage at a data center somehow spiraled into corrupted backups and a broken members area.  You cannot make this up – the curse is real!
Time for everyone to see Raingasm? More like, time for no one to see anything.
Time for everyone to see Raingasm? More like, time for no one to see anything.
All these setbacks aside, I am thrilled to announce that the RAINGASM VIDEO is now live on!  It started with a tremendous effort from Bailey and the Panda Crew on the shoot day.  Bailey spent hours drenched from a garden hose on a rainy spring day.  You see Bailey visibly freezing, and still trying to orgasm, and trying to do so quietly as to not alert the neighbors.  Bailey is a natural exhibitionist and never backs down from a challenge, no matter how weird the ideas are that we throw at her.  You’ll have to watch it for yourself to see how well she did despite the conditions.  And don’t forget to watch the bonus footage to hear her teeth clattering and her totally reasonable complaints!
Thank you Bailey Fans for being so patient with us and I really hope you enjoy it!
Malloy Panda!